My Mood

Last week I was in a mood.  These moods don’t happen very often – maybe twice a year.  Assman gets really excited when I’m having one. It was a purging mood. 

I wish I could find the before picture of our basement. I know I have one, because I sent it to my Dad and thanked him for instilling the pack rat gene in me. My basement looked exactly like his. Boxes filled just about every inch of the floor and were piled about as tall as me (granted, that’s not very tall to most people because I’m pretty short!)

Even though I was in a mood, it was still difficult.  I experienced little glimpses of what a hoarder must go through. It can be quite distressing to throw away or get rid of stuff that you have some sort of attachment to, or must of liked at some point in time, because why else would you store it for ten or more years?

There was a lot of “oh, but so and so got this for me”.  But then I would realize that it had not been out of the box since the Fraser house (this is how I remember things, not that I got it in 2003, or seven years ago, I remember things by which house we were living in at the time.)

There was also a lot of “why in the world am I keeping this?” I found paper plates (unused of course!) from the boy’s baptism and first birthdays! And streamers…so many half used rolls of streamers! They cost like a dollar – why did I keep them? Besides that, Assman hates them and has boycotted them for all future parties.  Speaking of boycotts, we decided over the weekend to also boycott the loot bags that are sent home with kids at birthday parties.  Parents end up spending $20-30 on small pieces of cheap, crappy toys just for the kids to take home for their parents to throw out, unless you have a hoarder parent, who may in a few years down the road unpack a box filled with years of loot bags and think to themselves, “why in the world did I save this?"  Sorry for my ADD rant, back to purging.

The majority of the boxes were dispersed into different rooms, but I was able to get rid of about six Rubbermaid bins of “stuff”.  I took two big boxes to the Salvation Army and I have two boxes in the laundry room of garage sale stuff.  Assman does not like those boxes because I keep saying that I’m going to have this mysterious garage sale, but I have yet to do it! He will, however, be liking those boxes in a few weeks when we dig into them for our white elephant Christmas gift exchange with the gang. Our friends on the other hand may not be liking those boxes :)

At the end of the day, Assman was extremely proud of me for getting rid of so much junk, I mean stuff.  And, I must admit, it was a great feeling to be able to see an organized and useful room again. 

Until next time, unpack a box and see what kind of interesting things you can re-gift to your friends at Christmas and don’t forget to live, laugh and love! xoxo

La La Land

I wake up at 6:30 a.m. pretty much every morning. When I'm in my own little world, which is often referred to as la la land, my mornings go something like this:

6:30    Wake up and go potty.

6:37     Start the coffee.

6:40    Turn on the news, sit down and enjoy five minutes of peace and quiet.

6:45    Wake up Assman, make my cup of coffee and sit back down on the couch to enjoy just one cup of coffee and fifteen more minutes of me time.

7:00    Wake up the adorable monsters so they can watch Curious George, while I start making lunches and breakfast.

7:30     Give the boys their breakfast.

7:45     Boys brush teeth and get dressed.

8:00    Walk out the door for school.

Easy peasy. Everything goes nice and smooth and right on schedule.  But then reality slaps me in the face and I'm dealing with something along these lines:

6:15    Hit snooze on the alarm.  Even though Assman will not physically remove himself from the bed until around 7:00, the alarm MUST be set at 6:15 for some reason.

6:30    As carefully and quietly as I can, I must wiggle my way out of bed trying very hard not to disturb the cat that’s purring loudly in my ear, the dog that's curled in the crook of my legs and the Porkchop that is wedged in between me and Assman.  I should mention we are all in a queen size bed.  As you can imagine, I usually fail miserably at not disturbing someone during this process. However, if I am successful, I now must tip toe quietly, trying desperately not to find the squeaky board in the floor on the very long trek to the bathroom (an entire two feet), so as not to awaken the sleeping Hambone (The only one who gets to enjoy a bed to himself) who is in the room next door.

6:37    Start the coffee, but first I have to wash it out from the day before, because I somehow forget to during one of the ten times a day I wash dishes.  It’s usually at this point in time that Porkchop walks sleepily into the kitchen stating he is hungry and would like his oatmeal now.  No good morning. Just feed me. I give him a hug and say good morning and he says it back in his cute little voice so all is forgiven. He will ask if he has to go to school today. I will say yes honey, today you go to school.  He will then grunt like what I imagine a cave child would have done back in the day and turn around and go into the living room to turn on Curios George.  Get used to it kid, you have a lot of years of school ahead of you!

6:39    Hambone now enters the kitchen, sucking his thumb, which is a good indicator that he is still sleepy.  He looks up at me and doesn’t say it (because his thumb is more important), but his eyes tell me good morning. I give him a hug and say good morning. He, too, tells me he’s hungry.

6:40   They turn on the tv and realize that George isn’t on yet (by the way, we do not have cable so we watch a lot of pbs, which in my opinion is waaaaaay better for them than stupid sponge bob square pants!) So they sit and watch yoga lady.  Porkchop will attempt some of the exercises.

6:41    I get the water going for oatmeal.  (We don’t have a microwave either – only because itty bitty doesn’t allow for it due to her lack of counter space. Surprisingly enough, I really don’t miss not having one.  I reheat my food in a pan on the stove just like June Cleaver probably did and I have a popcorn maker. Those were really the only times I used a microwave)

6:45    They are already bored with yoga lady (can’t say that I blame them). I remind them that they get up to early.

6:46    They start running around and chasing the dog and getting her all excited.

6:47    They starting fighting with each other.

6:50     They eat.

7:00     They go into the living room to watch George.

7:15      They start running around and chasing the dog.

7:16      They start fighting with each other

7:17      I ask them to take turns brushing their teeth and getting dressed.  They completely ignore me and continue to run around and yell and not listen.

            Somehow during all this time I have managed to make lunches, but it has taken much longer than it should have.

7:55    After a lot of separating and threatening that they will be in their rooms after school, instead of playing outside, they are both finally dressed and ready for school.

8:00    Threatening some more, while they find their shoes and coats (which are always in the same spot, yet they claim they can never find them.)

8:06    FINALLY walk out the door. By this time I’m usually very frazzled and barreling full force into an anxiety attack.

8:35    Back from taking Porkchop to school and finally ready to sit down, enjoy a cup of coffee and visit la la land – only if it's Tuesday though. 

Until next time, enjoy your own personal la la land and live, laugh, love xoxo

                               

The Move and Retirement

I was planning on having more time to blog once I retired, but it turns out running a household is much more demanding than my previous job! I'm still not completely settled in - how pathetic is that?

We were not able to take our time and move in as planned. Because it was all thrown together at the last minute, we decided not to bribe our friends with beer and food, but to hire a company to move all the big, heavy stuff this time (which, by the way, felt really weird to just sit around and watch other people move my stuff - I felt like I should jump in and help!)

Word of advice - if you have a money tree and/or can afford it - next time you move, hire someone to pack and move ALL your stuff.  We have so much stuff that it took us about eight additional runs to move the remainder of it. In fact, if you saw a cross between the Beverly Hillbillies and Sanford & Son driving down Mack it was most likely us!

Everyone keeps asking me how I like our new house. It feels just as it should - like our home and like we belong here.  Here is itty bitty:

I'm not a fan of the awning - therefore it will be coming down soon!



As for how it's coming along, well, if you own a home you know it will always be a work in progress.  Ours, aside from a few coats of paint, appears to be in its original 1950 something condition.  I mean original lights, original medicine cabinet, original sink, etc.  While I love antique and vintage, there are some updates I need!

Surprisingly, the first on my list is a garbage disposal. I actually don't mind not having a dishwasher (even though it seems like I'm doing dishes literally at least 10 times a day!), but I really don't like having to constantly throw the gunk away that is stuck in the drain! My dinner always looks so much more appetizing on my plate than in the drain!

The only other thing I don't like about our home is having one bathroom! There have been a couple of extremely close calls and I'm not talking about just for the boys!!!

When you walk into our home and look around you will see that our ADD is present everywhere.  We have a bunch of different, unfinished projects going on in all rooms. So, for the sake of sanity, we decided to focus on one room at a time, starting with the boy’s room. 

The room most complete, minus some wall decorations and the shoe molding is our living room. What's that? You want to know why we don't start with this room? Well, we can't seem to decide on what kind/color window treatments we should use. The dilemma is that I love having the sun shine in through the big picture window and Assman likes to keep the curtains shut because he does not want people like me peeking into our house as they are walking or driving by.  The suggestion box is open; please feel free to drop your idea/solution into it :)  Here are some pictures:

Before



After



Before - I can not for the life of me get the after of this shot to upload. I have been trying for days now.  I will keep trying though.

See, I am not kidding when I say itty, bitty! :)

The other million dollar question is how I liking being a stay at home mom.  Honestly, it's not as easy as I thought and it's definitely more demanding than a 9-5 job.  Like most everyone else, I have good and bad days.  My bad days are judged by how many times Rosie has figured out how to get into the garbage and how often my adorable monsters tell me I'm mean and that they don't love me. 

I've developed this June Cleaver persona and feel as though the home needs to be spotless and I feel guilty if I sit down for a little to enjoy Ellen.  I am honestly doing something all day, yet if you walk into my house around 4:30 (an hour after both boys are home) you would think I sat on my doupa all day eating bon bons and watching my soaps!  

On the bright side, being a stay at home mom is so much more rewarding than my 9-5 job! I love walking hambone to/from school. I get to come home and help him with homework right after school and then play with him for a little before I start dinner. Porkchop gets to make his banana bread whenever he wants now! I'm making tons of delicious homemade dinners, which are ready for Assman when he gets home from work.  The icing on the cake is I get my baby fix by watching my sweet nephew two days a week!  I'm so very thankful to Assman for helping to make this happen.

So to answer the questions - I'm loving my new home, my new job, my new life!

Until next time, make sure you take a moment to live, laugh and love - xoxo

This One Time... At Camp...

This one time...at camp...I brought home a dog.  Meet Rosie.  She's the newest member of our family. She likes sticks and chasing squirrels. And the boys love chasing her! I like this too, because all the running eventually wears them out.  Bonus for me!

Over labor day she had been found wandering the campground we were at, which she apparently had done a few times before.  A very nice lady took her for a ride down the streets near the campground and tried to return her to her owners.  This was difficult because she did not have a collar on.  Fortunately for me, the miserable, neglectful owners were no where to be found nor did they come looking for her all weekend. So the nice lady searched the campground for someone to rescue her.  Just so happens the very nice lady is by brother-in-law's cousin and my sister-in-law knew of a plan I was concocting.

I looked into those sweet eyes on that adorable face and I needed her.  I looked at her again - then I looked at Assman - who looked at her - and then looked at me, shook his head and reminded me of the fact that he thinks I'm crazy as he walked away.  He didn't say no.

I agreed to take her for a test run overnight to see if she would mesh into our family and to see how she would do in the camper.  Because, after all, she is going to need to go camping with us.  I didn't have to sweet talk Assman (I just promised to pick up the brown presents she leaves outside - the majority of the time anyway!).  Rosie did all the convincing herself.  She is so lovable and very well behaved.  She even listens better than our adorable monsters do.  Best of all she is already housebroken!! Assman realized on his own that she was going to be a great family dog. He even named her!

Sometimes in life, good things just fall into your lap when you are not expecting them. The only downside to this is that I didn’t have time to carefully plan this out, so I need to keep a close eye on Assman to make sure he doesn’t make the dreadful doctor’s appointment that will ruin my chances of a baby down the road!

Until next time, kiss your doggies and live, laugh, love xoxo

Babies, Dogs and Careful Planning

I told Assman that I really want a dog (When I was younger, my Daddy called me Princess Iwanna - because I always wanted this or I wanted that - some things never change!)  I told him it's really more for the kids (Do you see a guilt trip coming? Do it for them - not me! Every boy needs a dog!).  He told me I'm crazy. 

I told Assman that I want a baby too. He told me that he's now certain that I'm crazy.  He also told me that if I get a dog, I do not, under any circumstances, get a baby. To prove this certain, he promised me that the day we bring home a dog is the day he's making an appointment to take care of that. 

 

Yes, I know, I am a little crazy - but you see, before we were married, we both agreed that we wanted a large family. Back then I was also under the impression that he loved animals.  So, naturally, I assumed we would be living on a small hobby farm with a houseful of babies and a lot of different animals.  Remember what I said a few posts ago about assuming? Pre kids - we thought five sounded like a nice number. Post kids - the reality of life set in and our adorable monsters have made us rethink that number. With all the chaos and stress with both of us working, two was sounding pretty good. But....now that I'm retiring.....

So, hmmm, dog or baby? If I play my cards right and carefully plan this out, I think I can have both.  It should be noted that I suck at playing cards - but I am a very good planner :)

Until next time, kiss your babies and doggies, and live, laugh, love xoxoxo

Cake Class

I’ve been taking a cake decorating class the last four weeks with my BFF Material Girl. There is usually a lot of giggling going on – just like in high school.  I hope the instructor doesn’t think we are laughing at her – we’re mostly making fun of each other’s creations because they hardly ever look anything like they are supposed too. For instance, my shaggy mums have a tendency to look like wet mops.  But nonetheless, its been a lot of fun and I’m super happy she talked me into taking the class (even though it ended up being horrible timing with the move – which Assman has been reminding me about nonstop!)

Over the last four weeks my Kitchen Aide has been used more than it has been in the last six years! I’ve made two cakes, two dozen cupcakes and at least six batches of frosting that literally make your teeth hurt. I need to find a new recipe for frosting because I’m growing to dislike the taste of this one. However, it does not stop me from licking my fingers every time it gets on them.  This reminds me that I still have not made the appointment to have my wisdom teeth pulled. Yup - I know, I’m a chicken shit.  I guess I will just wait until I retire - which, oh by the way, is next week!!! Only three more working days! What was I even talking about? Oh yeah, cake decorating….

This class has turned out to be not as easy as I thought it would be.  Every Wednesday I’m up until at least 11:00 p.m. baking a cake, getting my bag of supplies ready, etc.  I’m pretty sure I didn’t stay up this late in high school trying to finish projects.  And after all my hard work, my final projects still have yet to turn out anything like their inspirations (You're the meaning in my life - You're the inspiration - You bring feeling to my life -You're the inspiration. I like to share the songs that get stuck in my head with you. By the way, who gets your vote  in the battle of Chicago vs. Reo Speedwagon? I say REO all the way!) But hey, I can’t complain much, the adorable monsters are always super excited on Friday when they get to see what I created and they always make me feel like it’s the best thing they have ever seen! And Assman is enjoying the treats as well!

Until next time, spend some quality time giggling (just like Anderson Cooper) with your BFF, and live, laugh, love xoxo

Bring On the Competition

There are no ifs ands or buts about it, our household is a very competitive bunch.  All of us are.  At least I think all of us are - I’m still undecided about Porkchop.  But really, is there any other way to be when playing sports?

Case in point – last night at soccer practice the boys were scrimmaging their fellow teammates. Porkchop and Hambone were on the same team, which by the way was not a very smart decision on my part.  Porkchop is obviously not ready for this, as half of his time was spent shoving the ball under his shirt and bumping into the other kids, or doing somersaults, or tackling his brother or saying I don’t like this game and running off the field. I swear not five minutes would go by where I didn’t have to mouth “put that down” or “listen to your coach”.  I’m sure I looked like a crazy lady with all of my finger pointing and hand motioning and what not.  Anyway, back to my point. Because they were practicing with no net, the sidelines consisted of four cones. One outlining each far corner and two outlining the goal box. 

The other team started the play and one of the kids kicked the ball in between the far outside cone and the inner goal cone (I’m hoping you can picture this in your head because I have a hard time explaining things sometimes).  Hambone instantly yelled “That doesn’t count – you didn’t kick it in the right spot.” He was absolutely right.  I’m not sure if the coach just let it slide or if he wasn’t paying attention – but that did not sit well with Hambone. He’s now quite upset and yelling “That’s not fair”. He’s at this age where everything, and I mean everything is not fair.  How do you teach a five year old that sometimes, life is just not fair?  But, back to my point (again).  So, on the next play Hambone immediately steals the ball, takes it all the way down the field and instead of kicking it in the goal box, kicks it in between the same set of cones the other kid did.  He turns to the kid and in a very snotty and matter of fact tone yells “There, how do you like that?”

I’m sure it wasn’t the right thing to do, but I couldn’t help but to smile and snicker a little.  That’s my boy!  He definitely takes after me – such a little brat!

Until next time, enjoy some competition and live, laugh, love xoxo

I Will Not Assume

Over the weekend, Assman thought we would be able to paint the bedrooms, hallway, living room and lay the floor as long as the kids were not around. Luckily, thanks to their Grandmas and Papa and Tammy, the adorable monsters split up over the weekend.  We were pretty much kid free all weekend and ready to rock and roll. 

In the end, Assman was overly ambitious.  He was able to paint our room, the hallway and the boys room.  As far as the flooring, well, apparently that wasn't as easy as he thought it would be, because he was only able to get the boys room and most of the hallway done.  But he did a good job and it looks a ton better than the oringal orange floors! I'm hoping to get the before pictures up very soon.

Here is a small list of what I now know what not to do:

1) DO NOT have your 4 and 5 year old any where near any type of project you are doing.  Not even simple ones like laying contact paper. I take that back - laying contact paper is NOT simple - however having your kids contastly interrupt you makes that job even less tolerable.  

2) DO NOT buy contact paper.  I should have used that other stuff that just lays down, but no, Assman doesn't like that becuase it sometimes bunches up.  If he wasn't working his ass off laying the floor I would make him lay the stupid contact paper too!

3) DO NOT assume you have enough paint left over from the last room you painted. At the house we were renting one of the bedrooms was pink.  Obviously, my boys did not want a pink room so I found an oops can of blue paint at Lowes.  We had about half a can of paint left over and I assumed (Assman always tells me never to assume anything...it only makes an ASS out of U and ME) since the boys new room is about half the size of the old room that we would have enough.  WRONG.  We had one wall left that had already been cut in.  So I ran out to Lowes with my paint can to see if they could match the color.  The original can was flat paint and the saleswomen suggeseted that becuase its a kids room I shoud use satin.  So, I get home and Assman puts it up on the wall (first he gave me an earful about how I need to listen to  him and not the salespeople because now the diference in texture is not going to match up). He was right. Or maybe the new color was just a tad darker,either way there was a very noticable difference.  It was my mistake so I had to go back and do the trim. Which by the way, I think I have only done one other time in my life, so it took me about an hour and half to do just that.  At least now I feel confident enough to tackle the living room.  That should only take me about three hours!

We did manage to enjoy some awesome greek food at the greekfest (both days!) which was conveniently going on at the end of our street. Mmmm opa and gyros - delicious!!

Until next time, don't assume anything and live, laugh, love xoxo

Don't Bite Off More Than You Can Chew

Have you ever felt like your life is spinning around like a toy top? It just keeps going around and around and around and you wonder when is it going to just slow down? 

On Monday, we completed Step 3 of Special Agent Nicole’s Three Special Steps! The closing went smooth and we received our keys. We are not the type of people to mess around so after we had our celebratory lunch at our new local pub we loaded up a trailer and started the moving process.

Now, since we have our lease until December, our original plan was to just take our time and do things slowly.  Then we thought, hey I’m retiring, we don’t need two house payments - so our landlord agreed to work with us and is now planning on putting the house on the market next week. This means we have to make it look presentable.  Right now it looks as though a tornado has blasted through it.

The new house has the original 1953 hardwood floors in the bedrooms and living room.  While they are in decent condition, they are that orangey color, which I do not like.  We thought about re-finishing them, but for what it would cost and the mess and the time involved in the process, we decided to just put laminate over them.  

What’s on our hit parade you ask? Over the next three days, we have to: pick out flooring, pick out paint for our bedroom, paint the rooms and then lay the floor. Just for shits and giggles, lets throw in the boys soccer practice last night and my cake decorating class tonight. Will it get done you ask? That’s a good question!  What I do know is that Assman feels as though he is going to stroke out (this is what keeps coming out of his mouth every 15 minutes)and he is super crabby. Yay for me!

Until next time, don’t bite off more than you can chew and live, laugh, love - xoxox

This Old "itty bitty" House

Steps 1-2 of Special Agent Nicole's 3 Special Steps have been executed.  The closing on our new (it’s actually old) home is scheduled for August 15^th.  We are so excited and such dorks that we keep driving by it at least a couple times a week! 

I've been tossing around the idea of adding a tab to my blog called “This Old itty bitty House”.  Because of the size and condition of the house, our family will be experiencing some major adjustments so I was thinking I would chronicle how we adjust to downsizing from a 1,900 square foot house to a 1,000 square foot home, as well as our attempts of renovating the never updated 1953 bungalow on a shoe-string budget.   It will mostly be for us to look back on and think how in the heck did we get through that - but I'm sure I will be able to provide a few "what not to do" or other funny stories to all six of my followers!

Assman is already very excited about the purging that goes along with downsizing.  I will have to let go of some of my “stuff” and the kids will have to sell/donate some of their space hogging toys (like their huge plastic kitchen and train table that has been sitting in the basement untouched for several months collecting dust). I find it absolutely ridiculous that they have managed to acquire a toy collection of what I’m sure has cost us and family/friends thousands of dollars over the last five years, only to let it sit unused and untouched the majority of the time.  They are not little Andys (from Toy Story) by any means – they do not seem to have any attachment to toys.  Sure, they have a few favorites, which we will of course keep, but for the most part my adorable monsters just don’t play with their toys.  What do they do you ask?  Wrestle, throw pillows at each other, have shouting matches, chase each other, hit each other with small souvenir ballpark bats, you know boy things.

My head is telling me that I’m doing things backwards, like becoming a stay at home mom when my oldest is five, instead of just doing it from the start or downsizing houses.  But, my heart tells me I’m doing the right thing now.  When I had hambone I chose to continue working because I was making decent money and I wanted that nice brand new house and a nice brand new car and to be able to buy the boys cool toys. But as I go through our journey with Assman and our boys, I realize that none of that matters to any of us.  They don’t want or need all that – all they want is our time, attention and love.  They would much rather have a huge bucket filled with water and a plastic pail than that $50 buzz light-year toy that talks and makes annoying noises.  They would much rather have our smaller house with a bigger yard than the bigger house with the tiny yard. And they really could care less what kind of car they are driving in (although Porkchop really wants a jeep and a driving camper!) They want to go camping and go for bike rides and play at the park - all things that don’t require lots of money. I know they are young still and when they get older the things they want may cost more, but for now I’m going to embrace and encourage their non-materialistic mode of life. Right now my boys are all about living, laughing and loving and that’s what life is all about.

Until next time, listen to your heart and live, laugh, love xoxo

Special Agent Nicole's Three Special Steps

An indication that I’m watching too much of Playhouse Disney is when I start breaking down the process of buying a new home into  “three special steps” – just like Special Agent Oso. 

Yesterday we put an offer in on another home. As I know from past experience, just because an offer is accepted, it doesn’t mean you will end up with that home.  So, while I am feeling optimistic and definitely sending good vibes out into the universe, in order to avoid disappointment early on, I’m going to mentally take myself through Special Agent Nicole’s “three special steps” celebrating in baby steps - until the day I actually move into our new home.

Step One – Make an offer.  This is my least favorite step.  We put an offer in on a house last night.   I’m not a patient person and the anticipation of not knowing if they will accept it is just killing me. 

Step Two – Get through an inspection. To say I do not have much faith in home inspectors would be a huge understatement.  After being screwed by our last one I’m almost ready to shell out a butt load of Canadian loonies to hire Holmes on Homes. 

Step Three – Closing.  For an hour we will sign our names over and over.  When it’s done, I will put on some Kool And The Gang and sing along to Celebration.  Go ahead, get that song out of your head now! :)

Until next time, send some good vibes my way and live, laugh, love xoxo

The Golden Years

Wow, I can’t believe it’s been almost a month since I sent out my little teaser about my major decision.  I’m sure the anticipation is just killing everyone so I won’t hold you in suspense any longer……..I’m retiring!  I realize most people do not retire until they are 65, but I sent out one of those chain emails to ten people like I was told and you will never believe what happened – within 24 hours the magic tree in my yard started sprouting $100 bills! It was the craziest thing!

When I was in elementary school I loved to write, so I naturally decided I wanted to become a writer.  In middle school, I thought it would be really cool to be an FBI agent or private investigator.  In high school, I decided I didn’t need to go to college because all I wanted was to get married to a great guy and become a stay at home mom to five perfectly well-behaved kids.

What have I accomplished so far you ask?  Well, aside from his loudness, cockiness and sometimes obnoxious behavior I managed to marry a great guy and together we have two amazing little boys (not so sure I still want five - but one more is not totally out of the question - I just need to get Assman really drunk and.....).   My adorable monsters are not perfect by any means and are only well behaved half of the time but, they are my sunshine.

Recently, it has become very clear that I personally do not have what it takes to have a career and be a good wife/mom. I just can’t juggle both and I don’t want either to suffer, so after much deliberation we decided to take a leap of faith.  Beginning September 1st, I will become the CEO of the Homestead (not sure Assman will appreciate that new self-designated title!) Wait, I guess that means that I'm not really retiring!

We are both very excited about this new adventure. We may be eating rice and beans, driving old cars and living in an older house, but those are small prices to pay in knowing that I will have more quality time with my boys. I recently read a quote by Wolter's Law that says "If you have the time, you won't have the money. If you have the money, you won't have the time."  Personally, I would much rather have the time over the money.
And, as a special bonus, I will have more time to “pick” treasures like these:

It's a planter, it's a bird feeder, it's a bird bath, it's a.....

I picked the milk glass vase and bowl from a garage sale

and with the help of Assman and Lumberjack we created garden art!

chicks and hens in a vintage copper bunt mold

Bench was picked from the curb, birdhouse was picked from Dad's garage full of treasures

(my grandpa made it)

vintage glass door knob on a metal rod - instant garden art!

old pump was picked from a flea market up north

old bicycle was picked from Dad's garage again (it was my grandmothers - I plan on restoring it one day!)

Who knows, I may pull a Brett Favre and decide that retirement is just not for me and return to work after a short time, but in the meantime I’m going to get a head start on enjoying the golden years. 

Until next time, dream big and live, laugh, love xoxo

Vacation Recap

Home (not so) sweet home.  As I look out my window there is nothing but gray clouds.  After a week of pure sunshine, the present scenery is a nagging reminder of why I often dislike Michigan so much. Granted, yesterday was a beautiful day here - but then today we are back to crap. 

The desert was hot, reaching 114, but at least it was consistent.  Every day I woke up at 5:30 a.m. (unfortunately, I couldn’t shake Michigan time) and the sun was shining with not a cloud to be seen. Most mornings I sat on the patio with my book.  The second I opened the door the aroma from the chocolate flowers that were poolside surrounded me.  I was usually able to get in a couple of chapters before a sleepy eyed Porkchop or Hambone wandered over. (On a side note, I was able to start and finish an entire book while on vacation! I forgot how much I love to read!) And then the heat would quickly turn on. It was almost like an on/off switch. But it’s a dry heat right? Ha – hot is still hot! I do believe the dry heat makes a difference though because we were able to walk around the zoo one day (which is only open from 7 am to 2 pm in the summer because of the heat!) without dripping with sweat.  But because I was not used to the heat, it did kick my ass and I was ready to leave after 2 hours. 

We ate a lot of good food and did a lot of fun things - watched the Diamondbacks lose to the White Sox from a suite (thanks to my brother-in-law).   The Phoenix zoo was a much different experience than the Detroit zoo.  There was even a little trail that led us on a nature hike.  The boys enjoyed visiting a train park that let them ride a 1/5^th scale train around the park and enjoy a carousal ride where Porkchop had the comment of the week:  “Mommy/Daddy I think I’m going to pick the horsey” (they are all horses).  Me: “Ok, which one do you want to go on?” Porkchop: “That horsey over there next to the other horsey”.  He says the cutest things when he’s not doing things like poking his brother in the chest with sharp pencils.    

We probably could have saved some dinero by just staying at Zia and Uncle John’s house the entire time though. The boys loved the pool so much that I’m surprised they didn’t ask if they could just sleep on a raft at night. My little Porkchop turned into a little fish after he discovered that he loved to be under water.  He holds his breath and kicks his feet underwater as he lightly holds on to our hands.  Hambone is much more cautious of the water.  If he was out of his inner tube, he usually had the death grip on whoever was holding him.  The inner tube became somewhat of a super hero’s cape to him and with it he would run and jump as far as he could into the pool!

On the last day, Assman was ready to go home (much like all our vacations, he does tend to miss home.  I’m the total opposite – I never want to go home!)  But when we walked into our house I asked him “Does this feel like home?” to which he said “No”.  I’m pretty sure it’s just because he doesn’t like the house we are renting or maybe he just doesn’t like renting - regardless, we obviously have not found “home” yet.

So would I move to Arizona? I would definitely consider it.  My first love is California.  But the desert is definitely a different kind of beautiful.  Every where we drove we had an amazing view of the beautiful mountains, which I was constantly in awe of.  And of course there were cacti everywhere!

I must admit, yesterday while driving around the outskirts of the “D” I realized that I did miss all the green landscaping. In Arizona all the houses looked the same…adobe, different shades of taupe, with an occasional forest green or chocolate color mixed in, with terracotta rooftops and rocks instead of grass. I love the southwestern look of the houses, but they were all starting to blend. However I’m sure that I would much rather have that and 60 degrees in the dead of the winter instead of freezing cold, cloudy, gray Michigan.

Until next time, I hope everyone is able to take some kind of a vacation this summer and live, laugh, love! xo

Friday’s Five

1. Assman and I made a MAJOR decision and I set it into place yesterday.  It will have a HUGE impact on our family (for the better!)(I hope!). More details to follow at a later date.
2. Hambone graduated from Kindergarten yesterday! Wasn’t it just yesterday that my water broke in the middle of the night? Time is just flying by! We are so proud of him!
3. We are leaving for vacation tomorrow! It will be the boy’s first trip out of the State and on an airplane! Hambone and my MIL are a little nervous about flying - but Porkchop is super excited! Speaking of airlines…Assman had a funny conversation with Southwest the other day that went something like this:

ASSMAN TO AGENT: So I will be traveling with my wife, our 4 year old, 5 year old and my (not going to out my awesome MIL) year old Mother.

AGENT: chuckling…hee hee hee (that was her way of saying good luck with that!)

ASSMAN: ok…well it’s been a long time since I’ve flown Southwest. Do you still have those crazy seats that face each other?

AGENT: HA HA HA HA – No, we haven’t had those for years.

4. Speaking of funny conversations…yesterday when I picked up Porkchop from preschool I noticed one of his classmates and her daddy standing on the sidewalk looking at something. As I walked closer I saw something very small moving across the sidewalk.  As I get even closer, I hear the little girl yelling “Don’t die it Daddy! Don’t die it!! Apparently it was a baby mouse that she didn’t want her Daddy to kill.
5. My garden is growing – my garden is growing! Awhile back I blogged that I would like to have a successful garden one day.  While this year’s container garden is not exactly what I was envisioning, it is a garden nonetheless and I actually saw two green grape tomatoes – on my way to a success!!  I’m taking baby steps to my dream garden.  Next year I will hopefully be able to plant my veggies into the ground!

 

*side note: the bench the birdhouse is on was a curbside pick!

Until next time, wish me luck on the plane ride with my two lovable monsters and live, laugh, love xo

Harley Davidsons

This morning I was behind a group of Harleys.  I love Harleys.  They always make me smile.  To me, there is just something bad ass about them.  It could be the chrome, or the loud rumblings, or it could just be the image of some (emphasis on SOME!) of the guys that drive them.  I’m not sure exactly what it is, but I have always loved them.  So much so that I took motorcycle safety so I could one day ride my own.  I received my license - rode one once and then I got pregnant and now I’ve become a chicken shit.  But, I still love them and one day when my adorable monsters are full grown and can take care of themselves, maybe I will stop worrying and I will get my own.  Who am I kidding? I’m a mom - I will never stop worrying about them. 

As I was carefully driving behind them and admiring the chrome and loud rumblings, I saw a crotch rocket zip around and zoom right past the group of Harleys and I thought to my self – what a douche bag (which by the way, we apparently say out loud too much in the car, because now Porkchop refers to bad drivers as douche-bags!) Then I thought I must be getting old.  While my first love is for Harleys – there was a time back when I went to 12 Mile High – that I did not hesitate to get on the back of a crotch rocket, with some young dude that I had only known for a few weeks and whom undoubtedly had hardly any experience on a bike – and go zooming and zipping around.  How stupid that was that?

I take that back, I’m not old – just more mature and responsible.  Maybe not more mature.  We will just go with more responsible.  I guess that’s what happens when you grow up and have babies!

Anyway, one day, hopefully, I will get my very own Harley. It will be super loud and shiny and I will look bad ass on it as I cruise (not race) around with my gang.  Or, it will sit in my red barn, with the green roof, with my popcorn truck, and my chevelle, and my lil’ red truck with the smoke stackers and my jeep wagoneer…….

Until next time…watch out for ALL the bikers out there and live, laugh, love xoxo

R.I.P. Dr. Jack

Dr. Jack Kevorkian passed away this morning at the age of 83.   He was a very controversial man, but I have nothing but admiration for him (and not just because he is a fellow Armenian).  He is a man who stood true to his beliefs even though they took him to prison.

He was known as Dr. Death, but I think Dr. Life is more fitting.  Now, I’m not an overly religious person, but I do believe there is a God and I do believe there is an after life in heaven.  I do believe that Dr. Jack helped terminally ill people - people who were suffering so badly in this life - find their way to a better life where they were able to live without the hurt and pain.   

I know of a woman who is brain dead.  She lies in her nursing home bed with tubes down her mouth, staring at the ceiling.  She can not talk, she can not move, she can not enjoy her family that comes to visit her.  Her family can not enjoy her smile or her hugs.  What is the point of that kind of life? Dr. Jack would have helped her find life in heaven where at least she could watch over her family every day and smile down on them. 

I know for a fact I have angels watching down on me and protecting me.  Every time I attempt a new Armenian dish, I know my Grandma and Nana are watching over me and helping me.  Every time I go antiquing I know my Grandma Schoeny is right there helping me find some more “stuff”.  Every time I encounter a close call while I’m driving, I know all of my angels are up there protecting me.  I feel my angels around me all the time and I would much rather feel them that way than to have to visit them in a nursing home and see them suffering.

Dr. Jack helped at least 130 people before he was sentenced to 10-25 years in prison for second-degree murder.  He served eight of those years.  That to me is a complete injustice.

May you rest in peace Dr. Murad “Jack” Kevorkian.

Until next time, enjoy your angels and live, laugh, love xoxo

Bad Pick

After watering my veggie containers and cleaning the bird bath last week, I attempted to wind up the hose into a neat pile.  I could have left it lying across the driveway, but I knew the kids, especially pork-chop would have tripped over it.  And then he would have skinned his knee.  And if he sees the blood from a skinned knee you would think that his entire leg was just chopped off.  So I wound it up and in the process got myself all dirty.

I’m not the least bit prissy - I don’t mind getting dirty.  I loved playing in dirt as a kid and I still love playing in it.  Back in the day I used to ride my 4-wheeler through the biggest mud puddles I could find.  However, at this particular moment I wasn’t dressed for the dirt and I was annoyed that it was getting all over me.  I wished I had one of those cheaply made plastic hose boxes with a reel.   

Someone was listening to me, because the next day I spotted one curbside.  I noticed that the handle on the reel was broken, but I figured Assman could rig something up and make it work.  So I picked it and was proud that I just saved myself $25.  That night I discovered online that I could buy the broken part for about $10 – this reduces my savings, but it’s still better than paying full price! But, even better, the next day while driving around, I found the same box with the reel handle – badabing -jackpot! Assman went back, took the reel off that one put it on mine and I’m back to my original savings of $25!!! It’s the little things that excite me.

Yesterday, I decided I don’t like the box. I’m not sure if we have it hooked up wrong, but the hose gets all tangled and I can’t pull it out. It took me and pork-chop about 15 minutes to get just enough out to reach the veggies.  No wonder it was at the curb.  It will be at my curb this weekend – I’d much rather get dirty.

Until next time, wish for better things than hose boxes and live, laugh, love xoxo

Sugar Bugs are Evil

For some reason I have never liked the dentist office.  I always dread going to that appointment every six months. I’ve never had a bad experience there.  In fact, up until this last visit I never even had a cavity.  It was a long run, but I guess every good thing eventually comes to an end.  I’ve also been able to keep my upper wisdom teeth intact.  These are two things I’ve been pretty proud about.  But wouldn’t you know that damn sugar bug (that’s what Porkchop calls them) decided to drop an egg (or whatever it is that they leave behind) right in my wisdom tooth and now I’m told it must come out. 

I’ve heard that having your wisdom teeth removed is not a pleasant experience and that it’s pretty painful.  I can handle pain – I mean I pushed two kids out – that was pretty painful and I wasn’t scared or nervous about that (raising them – well that’s a different story!) so why am I so scared about this?   Maybe because I work at a law firm and I see how a simple procedure can go wrong or maybe I’m just a chicken shit.  I’m sure both factor into this equation.  Either way – it needs to be done so I will have to suck it up and do it.  Just for the record, I would rather give birth again.

I also can’t figure out why the hygienist thinks it’s a good idea to try and have a conversation while she is doing her examination?  Seriously, you have my mouth pried open and you are poking around with a sharp instrument. Really? You think I’m going to start talking?  I try to respond with uh huh and uh uhs, but it always makes for a very odd conversation.  And, if don’t try to respond, I feel as though I’m being rude.  I just wish she wouldn’t talk at all. I would much rather sit in silence.  It’s something I don’t get often at home.

Until next time - keep the sugar bugs out of your teeth and live, laugh, love xoxo

Dream Weaver

Last night I had a dream and when I woke up, I knew it was a weird one.  Problem is I suffer from CRS (can't remember shit) and for the life of me I can not remember anything about it.  I wonder if maybe I was abducted by aliens and taken to their planet? Of course they would have to erase my memory and that would explain it. Actually, that would explain a lot of things about me.

One of my BFFs, Memissa, often has very vivid dreams and what amazes me most is she can remember just about every detail of it. I love hearing about them - they are usually very silly and crazy.

The two dreams that I do slightly remember are pretty funny.  The first one was with Kid Rock.  I somehow met him and he invited me to come back to his place later that night. As I was walking to his house, I passed a garage sale and thought to myself, jeez you shouldn't show up empty handed, you need to bring something.  So I found some plastic fruit, bananas, etc. and took them to him.  Because what rock star wouldn't love some cheap, plastic fruit right?

The other one was when I was pregnant with Hambone.  There were ants crawling all over me and they were under the bed.  I actually got out of bed in the middle of the night and was looking under the bed so I could get them.  As far as I know, that's the only time I actually acted out a part of my dream. And no, I didn't smoke anything before I went to bed.

Until next time keep dreaming and live, laugh, love xoxo

Fridays Five

 Five Random Thoughts:

1. I drove the viberator today. It’s a GT and a stick and I noticed when I have this car (without the kiddies) I turn into a NASCAR driver wanna be.  Sure, she’s getting old and a little rusty, but her RPMs are still revving and that girl can go.  I love sexy flexy, but the viberator is so much more fun to drive!!
2. I saw a local t.v. personality this morning at Hambone’s school.
3. My phone went MIA last week and I had to get a new one.  I’m now working on replacing the music on it.  While doing this I discovered that I really like classic rock.  Yet another thing I inherited from my dad.  (I’m a Daddy’s Girl and I’ve inherited a lot of his traits. Some good – some not so much) I also noticed that a lot of the songs I grew up listening to are now “classics”, i.e. Bon Jovi. This made me feel old.
4. Joy and Pain by Rob Base and DJ EZ is Assman’s ringtone because he brings me both joy and pain (what husband doesn’t, right?) and because he’s a closet G.  Forget You by Cee Lo Green is everyone else’s ring because that’s my favorite song right now.  Oh, except for my long time BFF, she has Material Girl (I think I just found my new code name for her!) Not because she is materialistic (she’s not AT ALL) but because of the bridesmaid dresses we wore at her wedding. They reminded me of Madonna’s Material Girl dress, except ours were red. If I can find a picture I will post it!
5. I sang out loud the entire ride into work this morning and realized that I should be on American Idol.  I sing just as well as all the hopefuls (the bad ones at the beginning of the season of course!). 

Until next time - Happy Friday the 13th, have a great weekend and live, laugh, love xoxoxo