A Tale of Dislike to Sisterhood

!!Warning!! – this is a long one – sorry.

Assman and I belong to a close knit group of friends. Some we see more than others, but no matter what everyone is always there for each other.  Like when Assman and I move every two years – they are always there and ready to lift heavy boxes and furniture with a smile.  Well, maybe more like there with a bribe of beer and food. They are actually an extension of our family and I love them all.  The original boys are the foundation of the group consisting of some fellows we will call Lumberjack, Portabella and DJ-man, who all went to high school together.  Assman entered the group through DJ-man.  Wives entered the circle one by one, then family members. Today our group consists of 13 people. 

When Assman and I started dating we did almost everything with Lumberjack.  I assume because at the time they were the only single ones. So I guess I just tagged along on a lot of their adventures .  Because of this, I have always felt a little closer to Lumberjack than the others – I think of him kind of like a big brother.  Everyone has family members that they feel closer to, but at the end of day they are all your family and you love them all.

Eventually, Lumberjack meets Chili Pepper and she was welcomed into the group. Naturally, I assumed that nothing would change and she would start doing everything with us. Boy was I wrong.  Slowly, the group noticed that Lumberjack was pulling away.  We all blamed Chili Pepper.  In retrospect, we should have, and some may have, blamed Lumberjack.  I heard through the grapevine that Chili Pepper referred to our houses as “frat houses” because all we did was drink and act obnoxious.  Uh – hello – it’s called having fun! One piece of advice that I learned from my dad that I actually remember is “never believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.” But of course, I did not follow those words of wisdom. I can only speak for myself, but I grew to dislike Chili Pepper from then on.  Not only for saying that about our fun loving group, but because it seemed as though once she started coming around, Lumberjack stopped.

Then, like six or so months later Lumberjack and Chili Pepper announce their engagement. Say what? Six months? Assman and I had been together for about five years. We built a house together, had a dog, but there was no ring on my finger. So of course, I did what every normal good friend would do and became instantly jealous. If I disliked her before, well you can imagine how I felt at this point.  However, at one of our frat parties and after a few sips of liquid courage, I sucked it up and had a talk with them.  I explained how I was feeling, apologized for my behavior and offered an olive branch.  Apparently they didn’t like olives.

Over the next couple years Lumberjack and Chili Pepper pretty much exited our group. Lumberjack and Assmans friendship faded and Chili Pepper and I certainly were not checking in with each other.  Baby showers were not attended. First birthday invitations were not sent.

Fast forward a few years and a miracle happened.  I do not remember how or why, but Assman and Lumberjack rekindled their friendship and Lumberjack and Chili Pepper slowly reentered our circle (which had grown by four since their absence). Kid’s birthday party invitations were sent and were attended. Weekend family visits were started and today we see them at least once or twice a week. Out of the group we see them and do the most with them.  They have two little boys the same age as ours and live pretty much the same crazy life we do.

It amazes me how much Chili Pepper and I have in common.  Gardening (she had a successful garden – but I’m not jealous – I actually benefit from this!). Cooking (we try to plan a Sunday afternoon cooking day once a month to make big batches of food to freeze). Knitting (we recently took a class together and are working on our very first projects).  A desire to learn how to sew (that can be added to my bucket list). Antiquing, garage saleing….I could go on.  One exception is, I would love to live on a farm one day (add that to my bucket list too!) and I’m pretty sure that does not interest her at all!

What started out as a dislike (I’m sure the feeling was mutual) for each other has blossomed into a great friendship, she is definitely one of my best friends and I feel like we are more like sisters. In fact, I think I may see her more than my own sister.

Until next time - live, laugh and love with your friends - xoxo