Turf War

I declared a picking turf war in my neighborhood after I discovered two contenders in my territory yesterday. 

As I was turning onto my street in the early afternoon, I noticed out of the corner of my eye a rather large pile of stuff sitting on the curbside about five or so houses down. I also noticed that there were two cars parked in front of the stuff on the no parking side of the street, so I knew they were the enemies.They must not have received their flyer about the new street gang called "Hand Pickers" taking control of the hood. If they had, I'm sure they would have quickly scattered away as soon as the boss (that's me) approached the loot.

As I drove closer, I was able to observe the goods: three vintage, metal stackable chairs, an old black trunk that was probably as tall as me and a pretty cool vintage dresser. All big stuff. I quickly regretted switching cars with Assman for the day, leaving me driving the viberator around instead of sexy flexy. I parked behind the second car and walked up to the pile just as Enemy #1 drove off with one chair.  Maybe she did get the memo and was scared!

As I inspected the pile, I knew I wanted that dresser, but how would it fit in the viberator?  I glanced over at my remaining opponent, who was still sitting in her car, to see what she was driving.  Good - a mid size car - she can't take it in that. 

I ran, really it was more of a fast walk, back to my car so I could park directly in front of the pile. Just as I did that Enemy #2 walked up to my dresser.  Oh no you don't lady, that's mine - ran through my head, but not out of my mouth. Some bad ass boss I am!

She had her hands all over my dresser. So I did what every bad ass boss would do and asked her if she was taking it.  She said yes.  Now curious how she was going to get it home, I asked if she needed help.  Again - way to make them fear you Nicole! She said no, and that she would come back later with a different car to get the rest.  In hind sight, I should have done just that - grabbed one of the drawers and taken it with me to the car when I went to move it. You learn from your mistakes and I will not make that mistake again!

I checked out the trunk - it was pretty cool looking.  Aside from it definitely not fitting in my car, it was all rusted and moldy. I made a mental note (probably not the best note to make, seeing as though I always forget about them!) to tell Assman about it when he gets home. I grabbed the remaining two chairs, stuffed them in the viberator and went home to plant my vegetable container garden. 

Of course, by the time I remembered to tell Assman about the trunk unknown Enemy #3 had already taken it. I'm not off to a good start with my territory battle, but soon enough I will make my presence known to these rivals and they will fear me!

Until next time, stay out of my territory and live, laugh, love xoxo