Rest in Peace Angels

A tear welled up in my eye this morning that caught me off guard. I certainly wasn’t expecting it, since one did not shed all weekend. Surely, I felt sad, but I think the emotions I felt all weekend about the tragic event that took place on Friday were shock and anger.

People’s opinions were lighting up Facebook like crazy. Most were about gun control. How guns kill people. How it should be illegal to own guns. How there needs to be more strict background checks. How parents need to raise their children better so they don’t turn into psychos.

I think the more I read, the angrier I was getting at ignorant posts. The angrier I got at the posts, the less I thought about all those beautiful, innocent children.

I hope those children said good bye to their parents with a hug and kiss and walked out their doors and into the school knowing exactly how much they were loved. I hope they had a great morning and that there were no little arguments about getting dressed or eating or turning the t.v. off, or any other little task that for some can escalate into fits of anger.  I hope for those families that their last morning was filled with love.

Every morning when I drop my boys off, I give them a kiss, tell them I love them and that I hope they have a great day. But I will be honest, there are days that I have walked away angry . Angry because something as simple as “Please get dressed” had turned into a 40 minute battle. One were I was told how much I’m hated, and that I’m so mean, all the while having things thrown at me.  

I know I’m not alone. I know from talking to other parents with children that have ADHD, or ODD or any other type of emotional, mental disorder that they too experience days that like mine. This is why I pray that the parents who lost their beloved children all had a great morning, because I know that there is a possibility that at least one of them may have had an ADHD child.

It’s hard living with a child with ADHD who says such hurtful things. It’s hard to look at your child who seems so normal in every other way and step back in that very minute and try and remember that they can’t help it. They’re impulsive. The brain can’t stop – it just continuously goes. I recently read the best analogy of an ADHD brain – it’s like a Ferrari engine with bicycle brakes. 

There are parents who have children with severe emotional, mental disorders that actually live in fear of their children. Even more upsetting is that they fear their child will end up like Adam Lanza. As a parent, can you even imagine having that thought? I’m not afraid of my son he has never done anything to make me fear him. But my son’s ADHD is not as severe as others, nor does he have any other disorder (at least that we are aware of).  Despite the parents best effort, no matter what they do. No matter what church they take their child to. No matter what behavior modification program they utilize at home. And no matter how much love they provide to their child, the parent is not responsible for nor can they control that child’s brain. So when you see a kid spiraling out of control or having a melt down – don’t assume it’s the parents fault! More importantly when you see Adam Lanza or any other person who has committed such a horrible, horrible act of violence, do not assume his parents didn’t raise him right. There is a possibility that could be nothing further from the truth.

Do not assume that if guns were illegal this would not have happened.  Drugs are illegal and people still find them. Where there is a will, there is a way. If this man didn’t have the guns, he would have made a bomb or found some other way to commit this crime.

There are still many questions that are unanswered. Why did his mother have so many guns? Did she own them for protection against her own son? Was she scared of her own son? Why did he shoot his own mother in the first place? But most of all, why that school and why those innocent children – what did they do to him? We may not ever know the answers. 

What I’m taking from this tragic event is to be even more thankful that I have today with my children. And to make sure that my boys can feel the love that I have for them.

Today was a pretty stress free, smooth morning for us. I walked the boys to school and as I dropped Hambone off I gave him a kiss on his forehead (because that’s the only place I’m allowed to kiss him in public!) and told him “I love you, have a great day!”

Porkchop and I continued on our way to his door. As he was getting in line with all his friends, I looked up and saw his teacher chatting with the parents, but I noticed as each child arrived she gave them a big hug. It’s not unusual for her to hug the students, but today it was different. It was a hug that was filled with extra love. Even I felt it. She made her way down the line giving each child a special hug and said “I need to hug all my little loves”.  That’s when I felt it. My throat got that swelled up lump and I felt my eyes water a little. I quickly thought about the teachers that sacrificed their lives for their student and the love that they had for their children. My heart instantly ached for all those children that did not make it home to their parents that day. It ached for the parents that will not be able to kiss their children and give them a special big hug. And even now as I’m typing this I still have that lump in my throat.

God bless those little children and even though I don’t think I would find comfort right now knowing they are in heaven (only because I feel they should still be here with their parents) I hope that one day they will be able to find comfort knowing that they have their own personal angel watching over them. May they hold onto the love and their memories that they have of their babies and may they receive the courage and support that they need to carry on without them.

Until next time, kiss, hug and hold onto your babies and live, laugh, love! xo

Naughty or Nice?

Personally, I'm having a hard time understanding why people are making their Elf on the Shelf do naughty things at night. I get that it’s usually all in good fun and it’s cute and relatively innocent, however, in my humble opinion (and we all know that opinions are like assholes, everyone has one) it’s only asking for trouble. At least it would in my house!

Over here Sonny-Jingles (our Elf) is used as a threatening tool. Albeit, the threats usually go in one ear and out the other - nevertheless, we continue to constantly, and I mean CONSTANTLY remind our adorable monsters that Sonny-Jingles is watching their every move, which is why they need to make good choices and do the right thing Because we don’t want coal in our stockings, right?!?

You see, we are trying to encourage good choices and good behavior. So can someone please tell me how in the world spreading toothpaste all over a mirror, or drawing mustaches or devil horns on pictures is acceptable behavior?  If Sonny-Jingles did that I would send his ass right back to the North Pole! Want to know why? Because sure as shit, my boys would find that hilarious. So freaking hi-lar-i-ous – that they would think it would be so much fun to do it on their own. Over.  And over. And over again. Toothpaste is sticky and messy.  I know this because I’m already wiping it off the counter just about every morning because Porkchop is either completely missing the brush as he’s squirting it or maybe he’s squirting it and the brush rolls over and it sticks to the counter. I don’t know how it appears every morning (Sonny-Jingles???) but I’m tired of cleaning it up – anyway I’m sure you get my point. It’s a mess. I don’t know about you, but I certainly don’t need any additional messes in my life to clean up.

And drawing all over pictures? Do you have any idea how many times I have told my boys that markers and crayons belong on PAPER!!! Not walls, tables, cabinets or toys. I think I’ve finally gotten through to Hambone that he does not need to take a Sharpie and write his name on everything he owns. After all, how am I going to sell a toy with his name on it at a Mom to Mom or Garage Sale? Do you know how pissed I would be if I walked into a room and, thanks to Sonny-Jingles, discovered that the boys decided to draw new faces on all my photographs??? Uhhh…not good Peter.

I read that someone’s Elf took all their ornaments off the tree. Why, why, WHY would you do that to yourself? Not only do you have to put them all back on, but then what if your kids decide it would be funny if they did it?

Ugh, I’m stressing out just thinking about everyone else's bad elves! I’m thankful that Sonny-Jingles knows his place in our house. Spongebob better not be giving him any ideas!

Until next time, keep your naughty elves away from my Sonny-Jingles and don’t forget to live, laugh and love! xo

Mama Bear's Rant

I'm sorry, but I feel the need to vent, or rant, or bitch, or whatever you want to call what I'm about to do.  As I briefly mentioned in a previous post, Hambone was diagnosed with ADHD approximately one year ago. While I'm not going to go into the specifics (just because I'm about to walk out the door and I don't have time) about it in this post, I do want to share something.

I follow a facebook page called "Easy to Love but Hard to Raise". It's more or less a support group for parents who have children with ADHD, autism, or other similar issues, to come together and either vent or bounce ideas off each other.

Recently, someone posted something about parents being "lazy" when choosing to medicate their children instead of "rolling their sleeves up" and dealing with their issues.

If I were a cartoon character my head would be bright red with steam exploding from it right now. I try, and I mean I really try, to keep my opinions to myself when on facebook. I don't always succeed, but I do try! I obviously didn't succeed today, because I posted this reply:

First of all shame on the people who feel the need to judge others without actually having to walk in that person's shoes. You just never fully know exactly what a family is going through unless you are that family. Everyone's situation is different and who are you to judge them? Just because you medicate your child, it doesn't mean that you stop parenting that child any less - or become what people may view as a lazy parent. Medication is not just "the easy route". For some children, it's the only route and yet for others it's not. In my experience, when my son started taking medication all of his good, sweet, charming, lovable qualities started shining through all the difficult behavior we were CONSTANTLY battling. The medication is very effective and beneficial for not only his emotional well being, but also for his educational being. That being said we still face challenges on a daily basis and we still parent him just as we did before we chose the medication route. We are by no means "lazy" parents. I'm confident that we made the right choice in medicating him as I can see a HUGE difference in not only his well being, but it has also made a positive impact on our entire family. Don't judge me for providing my child with medication that he so desperately needs, because I certainly don't judge you for choosing not to medicate yours.

And like Forest Gump would say "That's all I'm going to say about that".

Now I'm hoping a blast of the cold air in my face will make this Mama Bear's blood stop boiling!

Until next time - don't judge others and live, laugh , love - xoxo

Lemonese History

Only with me will a simple question like, "Who do you want to invite from your class to your birthday party?" turn into a history lesson. I've been trying for a week to get Hambone to give me the where and the who information for his upcoming birthday party.  All I'm able to get is "I don't know." It's like pulling teeth to get information from him. Who do you talk to? He named a couple kids that I'm familiar with (one of whom I believe he already has a crush on!). After some more pulling, I discover that he talks to the girl that sits next to him.  I asked if he likes her, and he says, "Well I just said I talk to her didn't I? Why would I talk to her if I didn't like her?" Smart Ass.

I remember this girl from his class last year.  She's very pretty,with a full head of thick, beautiful brown curls (of course, these are the important things I can remember - hair color and texture - maybe I was a beautician in another life?). I told him that I think she's middle eastern, to which he responds,  "I don't know what middle eastern is Mommy, but she is lemonese". With a smile on my face, I said you mean LeBanese, it's a b, not an m, honey." He continued on saying that she told him the Italians and the Lebanese people fight. "Then tell her you are Armenian and ask her if she like hummus and tabbouleh. Don't mention you are Italian too!"

I'm not ashamed (maybe I should be?) to admit that I was an average student (this is why I'm very determined to encourage my boys to be excellent students. Luckily for them, their daddy is very smart and so far they both have inherited that gene, along with a desire to learn. I pray this stays with them!) However, despite what Assman may tell you, what I lack in book smarts I make up for in common sense.  Although I will admit that my fake blonde highlights have been known to occasionally appear, causing me to make off the wall comments! Husband #2 will tell you that he looks forward to these moments as they are usually doozies! Anyway, I was not aware that the Italians and Lebanese did not like each other and wondered if it was a dislike as great as the Armenians and the Turks. Not wanting to trust the statement given to me by two second graders, I decided to do some research this morning.

My Google entry of "History of Italians and Lebanese" was a stark contrast than that of "History of Armenians and Turks".  There was no mention of genocides, massacres, conflict or fighting.

According to Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Italian_Lebanese):

Lebanon opened a legation in 1946, which was transformed into an embassy in 1955. Both countries signed a Treaty of Friendship, Cooperation and Navigation in 1949. 

Italy and Lebanon are linked by an ancient friendship, which finds its roots in their common Mediterranean heritage, their antique civilizations and thousands of years of common history, intense trade relations and deep cultural and human exchanges.

I'm excited to share my research with Hambone! Although, he may want to do his own research, which will mean that  I'll have to try and find some kind of documentary for him to watch. Is my 7 year old the only one that seems to enjoy the History channel as much as Sponge Bob?

Anyway, now we know he can invite her over for some baked ziti and hommus.

Until next time, don't forget to live, laugh and love.

xoxo

P.S. Please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. It was a very quick research project.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

On this beautiful, sunny, crisp, fall like day, I thought I would share a few of my adorable monsters recent funnies :) Feel free to share some your kids darndest lines - I would love to hear them!

*     *     *

The other day our family was playing a good old fashioned game of "cops and robbers".  Officers Hambone and Porkchop were on patrol, while the hoodlum parents were out perusing the streets. While strolling the streets all innocent like I was suddenly approached by Officer Hambone. With a very serious and stern face I was told that I was being arrested for speeding (apparently I was speed walking?). I was instructed to turn around so he could cuff me. Then Officer Hambone motioned to the chair, told me to sit, and shouted "You have the right to remain silent and you will have your day in Court".  His sidekick, Officer Porkchop, dutifully chimes in, waving his plastic police baton saying "Yeah, and we have woopins (aka weapons), so don't even think about escaping!" It took everything I had to not laugh at him and when they turned to chase down my partner in crime I escaped!

*     *     *

So I'm watching t.v. when I hear a little voice shouting "Mommy, drop your stuff and come and wipe my butt because it's a hard one to get to." I smiled, but chose not to respond so he would do it himself. 

His little voice then shouted even louder,"MOMMY -  DO YOU HEAR MY WORDS?" I decided I probably should go help before he started using more of my lines.

*     *     *

Yesterday while walking home from school I asked Hambone what he learned in school.  Of course he didn't remember.  When I asked Porkchop, he looked up at me with his most serious face and said "Oh Mommy, we don't learn anything in this class. We just have fun!"  I'm sure his teacher will be happy to hear that. 

*     *     *

Until next time, for all you MSU Spartan fans out there - GO GREEN!!! GO WHITE!!! 

and don't forget to live, laugh and love xo

My New Job

One of the reasons I chose to retire was because I wasn't doing my dream job. I loved my job and my boss was great, but if you asked me when I was young what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would have told you any one of the following: FBI agent/private investigator (what, you can't see me sleuthing around, spying and chasing people all Criminal Minds style...Mmm wonder if I would have had someone like Shamar Moore as my partner?), teacher (preferable elementary), writer (there still may be hope), or - and here's a totally random one for ya, a marine biologist (I wanted to work with Shamu). I blame my mom for letting me run wild with my choices, she never brainwashed me into anything like she did my sister, who was always told she will be an attorney (bet you can't guess what she is?).

Somewhere around high school it all changed though. I just wanted to be a wife and a mommy. I didn't want to go to college, I didn't want to be a doctor and make a fortune (what was I thinking??) I just wanted a family. Maybe I realized that my mom is the best and that I wanted to be like her. No doubt she had a great role model to learn from. She is patient, kind and loving. Three very important qualities to have when raising a brat like me. From what I can remember, she pretty much just worked Saturdays at a salon so she could raise me, my sister and my brother. She was always there for us. Naturally, I wanted to be like her (except I didn't, and still don't possess the patience trait.)

Since we don't live in the era of getting married at 16 (thank god!), I had to do find some kind of a career, so I became a paralegal. Then I became a wife. Then I became a mommy. Somehow my dreams of staying home were pushed away with dreams of being able to provide my kids with everything. I wanted a nice new house and brand new cars and toys for my kids and be able to take them on nice vacations and in order to do all that the right way, we needed two incomes. 

Then one day I realized I wasn't happy. I was overwhelmed. Every morning I was rushing around with making breakfast and lunches,dropping kids off at daycare, school, and then getting to work. Picking everyone up, making dinner, driving to sports, cleaning. You know, all the stuff that you accomplished working parents are able to juggle and handle well.  Problem was, I couldn't do it. I'm just not cut out to be a career mom, nor did I ever want to be. 

Why am I rambling on and on about my decision to quit work you ask? Because I want to shock you when I say I'm going back to work.  This time though, it will be at my pace. I will make my own schedule. I will work when I want to work on the days I want, during the time times I want. I will be able to take my kids to school and help them with their homework (until it gets too hard for me). I will not miss soccer games. I will never be as patient as my mom, but I will still be able to always be here for them. 

As much as I love these adorable monsters

I need to get away from them for a couple hours a night. Otherwise, they will be visiting me at the insane asylum. 

Now, I realize I'm going to get some eye rolling, and some oy veys. You may tell me I've gone to the dark side. Or as Husband #2 (I'll save this explanation for another post) will tell you, I've joined the Nazis. Personally, I don't see the Nazi connection to becoming a Lia Sophia fashion advisor.  What a fancy title for someone selling pretty jewelry :) I should point out that Husband #1 (the important one, Assman) is TOTALLY behind me. He is encouraging me and helping me realize that this is something that I can do!

I'm sure ya'll (part of my country girl wanna be slang)  have been to an in home party. Some of you probably dread receiving those post cards in the mail - I know I have complained about them before. "Ugh, not another one." "I don't want to go." "I don't have any money." Truth is, I always go and I always end up having fun. Not only do I get to enjoy a night out with my girls, usually with yummy food and drinks, but I get to go shopping and buy myself a present. Who doesn't like presents? And what girl doesn't like jewelry?

                  

When you're all done rolling your eyes at me, give me a call or send me an email to book your Lia Sophia party. I'll tell you all about how you can get FREE jewelry.  See I'm already getting the language down and I haven't even started yet!

Until next time, wish me luck and follow your dreams while you live, love and laugh xoxo

First day of Kindergarten ... Hip, Hip, Hooray!!

This past week everyone has been asking Hambone and Porkchop if they are excited to start school.  Hambone's response has been "I don't know". Porkchop's response was a very adamant "NO"!  Me? I hear the angels singing Hallelujah!!!! I was overly excited for school to start today! Does that make me a bad parent? I love my boys, but I've been ready for two weeks! Somewhat ironic since in June, I couldn't wait for school to get out so I could spend the summer with them!

Back to school! :) 

Porkchop was a little nervous and I can't blame him, after all it is his first day of Kindergarten.  Even though he has been attending day care since he was one and is used to being without me all day, this is a new school and a new environment for him. But, I am happy to report that for all his nervousness he did AWESOME!

The teacher let the parents come into the class and stay with them for a little. We helped with their first assignment, read a very appropriate book called "The Kissing Hand", and did a project to go along with the story. Then the parents left.  There were some meltdowns, but my very brave Porkchop was not one of them! I'm a proud mamma!

And I must admit, that even though I was excited for school to start, I was a little sad that my baby is not a baby any more. As I was sitting in Porkchop's little chair during story time, I started to read the poem that the teacher gave the parents. 

Poem from Porkchop's Kindergarten teacher

It was then that it really hit me. I found myself surprised by the lump forming in my throat. Oh no, do not start crying now (i managed to keep the dam up, no tears were shed)! How did we go from this:

to this:

Where, oh where did the last five years go? I miss my babies. 

I was ecstatic about school starting today, but I don't want you to think I didn't enjoy my summer with them.  I wouldn't trade being home with them for anything.  I'm fortunate that Assman is willing to work extra hard to provide for us so that I can be home with them.  We did have a great summer! It definitely was not dull - chaotic, but not dull.  The chaos was partly my doing. I'm pretty sure I have not mentioned yet, but last November Hambone was diagnosed with ADHD/ODD. Since it can be hereditary, this pretty much sealed the deal for my self diagnosis of ADD. (I'll save the ADHD for another post.) 

So what am I doing this morning with my new found time? I'm enjoying my 2 1/2 hours (only 1/2 day today) of peace and quiet by writing to you.  Then tomorrow it will be back to work for me. I have schedules and routines to establish, my nephew to watch one day a week and oh yeah here's a teaser for ya, there's that new business of mine that I'm very excited to finally start pouring myself into (more on this tomorrow)!

Until tomorrow, I hope you and yours have a smooth back to school transition and don't forget to Live, Laugh, Love xo

The Attack

Today’s quick trip to the grocery store made me feel like I was starring in the show “What Would You Do?” But, before I tell you about it, I would like for you to tell me exactly what it is about a grocery store that brings out super bad behavior in kids? It’s like there is some kind of kid sensor in the entry doors that ignites the whining, and running off, and I’m not exaggerating here, laying on the ground in the aisles (don’t ask!), the fighting, the chaos, the…I could go on, but I’m sure all you parents are picking up what I’m putting down. Come on admit it, I know my kids are extreme examples, but there is always at least one other stressed out mom walking the aisles with a screaming kid.

Yes, I’m the mom walking around the store in circles telling my kids to get off the floor, stop having relay races down the aisles or to put back the sugar loaded, red dye #40 infused fruit snacks that make you little adorable monsters act even more crazy!!!

Most of the time what should be a five minute run in, turns into 20 minutes of agony, which leads me up to today’s episode.  So I’m standing in the cheese aisle very carefully balancing a carton of eggs, holding onto a bag of bread and contemplating whether I want ricotta or feta cheese to top off the delicious corn cakes I’m going to make for dinner. While the debate continues in my head, I hear Porkchop’s cute little voice, increasing in volume (becoming less cute) as he is standing there holding a carton of strawberry ricotta cheese (what in the world do you use strawberry ricotta cheese for?? – oh wait, cheesecake maybe?) repeatedly calling his brother’s name who is on the other side of me and actually behaving for the moment, but for some reason choosing to ignore his brother.  Granted even if Hambone chose not to ignore him, Porkchop doesn’t give you even a millisecond to respond before he’s again repeating your name, over and over and over. I finally reached my breaking point of repetition, so I turned to Porkchop, who only wanted to show his big brother this strawberry stuff and asked him to please just put it down so I can go back to deciding which cheese I need so we can get out of here. Apparently being ignored upsets Porkchop because his cute little face vanished and a red version of Hulk’s face emerged as he attacked his big brother. Right there in the cheese aisle.  Full, blown out, surprise attack on his brother. Jumped him. Hit him. Screamed at him.  In front of a handful of spectators.  I could feel their stares. I’m sure my face also turned red and if you know me, I’m sure my chest got all blotchy.  But I didn’t dare look at anyone.  I quickly pulled Porkchop off Hambone, who was looking at me like WTF??? I was probably looking at Porkchop like WTF??? I wasn't sure what to do, so I grabbed Porkchop by the arm and said something like “Seriously??? What in the world are you doing?? Unacceptable. Not cool! You will be in your room when we get home.” He started balling. And then hitting me!!!  Again – “Seriously???” I was horrified and embarrassed, but thankful that the spectators kept their thoughts to themselves, as I can only imagine what they must have been thinking. I grabbed Porkchop's hand and quickly lead us to the self checkout. 

And then, when we get home they go back to being the adorable little monsters that they are....

.......just like nothing happened. I don't get it!

Until next time, beware of my kids in the local grocery stores and live, laugh, love J xoxo

P.S., I’m embarrassed to report that when we got home, I completely forgot (probably because when we pulled up there was a stranger in my driveway with my Houdini ass dog that keeps escaping from my yard – but this time, I didn’t even know she was outside, so imagine my surprise to see her!)  that he was supposed to go right to his room, luckily for him his big brother reminded me J

P.S.S. I know y’all are dying to know which cheese I ended up with…..it was feta and it was delicious! J

Happy Campers

Apparently I'm not a very good blogger - I can't even remember when I last posted.  The last few months had me spinning out of control (kind of like a toy top!) I'm not quite sure what happened, but I do remember bits and pieces of taking and picking kids up from school, catechism, soccer, baseball, gymnastics, etc... all you equally busy mom's can fill in the blanks.  Anyway, I thought I would try and get back in the swing of things and write about one of our favorite summertime activities - camping. 

This past weekend we went on our third trip of the season to Metamora-Hadley State Park.  We went with my Dad, his wife "Julie" (that's not her real name and I don't recall why that's her nickname, but it is, so we will just go with it), my step-brother J-bird and his friend Pickles (my little monsters couldn't remember Pickles' real name, so they gave him a new name - Poor kid!). J-bird and Pickles were great with the boys - especially considering Hambone thought he was sixteen like them - he would not leave them alone!

For some reason, we sometimes eat better when we are camping than we do at home! This weekend was no exception - the meals were delicious! Dad and Julie made huge, yummy breakfasts with eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns, french toast and blueberry pancakes and Assman made amazing, mouth watering ribs (literally - they were pretty spicy) on his new grill! 

Daddy likes his new grill!

This pig tasted delish!!!!!

The boys absolutely LOVED fishing with Papa, but poor Papa couldn't catch a break between baiting hooks and removing small blue gills from their scooby doo and star wars fishing poles. I think they need to at least learn how to bait their own hooks! I was pretty impressed with myself for baiting a couple hooks and even removing one fish from the hook. I did discover that I do NOT like the nightcrawlers though - they are too big and fat and juicy and squirmy!

Papa getting them ready

Papa unhooking the fishie

Porkchop and his first fish!

Hambone and fish #1 of 4

The little monsters also went on their first canoe ride with Papa and Julie! I was skeptical at first of letting them go out because they are boys and they are spazzy and I was nervous it would tip.  However, I'm glad I let them because they LOVED it!! They surprisingly sat amazingly still. Assman and I took them out too. We discovered that I'm not allowed to sit in the rear of the canoe, because I suck at steering.  We literally were zig-zagging across the lake and turning in circles :) It was quite amusing (at least I thought so, because I couldn't stop laughing:)!



There were just a few negatives...I fell out of the camper (No, I was not drinking!) Rosie lunged after a group of dogs, breaking her collar in the process and setting herself free. Ballsy little thing was trying to pick a fight with three dogs (all bigger than her!) all on her own.  To say the least, Assman was not a happy camper at that point! Then someone stole Hambone's camping chair! Who on earth would take a kid's chair?? But all in all it was a GREAT weekend! 

Pretty butterfly

Bait stealing bluegill...some actually got hooked!

Maybe a baby perch?

Can you see the frog? He's in there somewhere!

Until next time, visit and explore your local State Park and don't forget to live, laugh, love!! xoxxo

(P.S. I received a kick ass camera for Mother's Day, so now I can brag about and prove how stinking cute my little monsters are!)

The Children: Our Future

Like the late Whitney Houston, I too believe “The Children Are Our Future”.  I agree that we need to teach them well and let them lead the way.  But to be perfectly honest, I’m scared to death at what our future holds. More and more I find myself shaking my head in disbelief. Not only do the majority of them lack respect for themselves and others, but they also lack responsibility for their actions.  But, I do not blame them - they are just a product of their upbringing.  I blame the parenting or lack thereof in most cases. I firmly believe that it should be against the law for some people to procreate.

I’m sure you are wondering what started this rant of mine.  While at the adorable monster’s soccer practice earlier this week, Assman found himself in a situation where he ended up disarming an air soft gun from a ten year old boy at an elementary school.  The fact that this occurred after school hours does not matter to me. The fact that the little boy alleged he was being bullied by a group of kids also does not matter to me (that’s a whole other post!).  Plain and simple that child had no business having a BB gun on school grounds. More importantly, he certainly should never even have had access to it. I’m not saying he should not be able to shoot a BB gun. I personally do not have a problem with that when the child is under ADULT supervision and when the BB gun is stored in a safe place, not accessible to the child.  What I am saying is that guns do not belong on school property.  Not toy cap guns, not BB guns, and as far as I’m concerned, not even Nerf guns! Schools are meant to be a safe zone for children.  A place where they can be kids and run around and play without worrying about whether they are going to be shot in the eye with a stray BB.

So what did Assman do? He took the gun from the kid and the kid cried and begged for it back.  Assman asked for his parent’s phone number, but the kid said his parents do not want him giving it out. Assman told him he would walk him home and talk to his parents for  him, but the kid refused (By the way, kudos to the kid for this stuff - he obviously paid attention during the stranger danger talk, but must have somehow missed the guns are dangerous talk!) Not having any other choice, Assman called the police. 

While waiting for an officer, Assman was able to locate the school custodian who identified the troubled kid as he was fleeing on his bicycle (but not before the kid called Assman a thief and stated he was going to break into our car.  Such a nice, respectful little boy!) An Officer arrived, called the kid an effing idiot, took some statements and then took off to locate the kid.

Because I’m a Paralegal, I couldn’t help but to do some quick research on the subject. Wikipedia tells us:

Many of the best-selling air soft weapons are high detailed replicas of real lethal weapons…

Air soft guns should be stored in a safe place, out of reach of children…

They are capable of breaking skin at 300 ft. ...if over 300 ft, the hit would have to be within a short range and breaking the skin is not the same as penetrating it. Blood can be drawn, but flesh is usually left intact or bruised at worst.

… the eyes may be injured by any type of impact.

...teeth can also be injured (fractured) by the impact of a pellet. Dentists have reported broken teeth that require root canal and crowns to repair damage.

(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Airsoft_gun)

And just in case you’re wondering, Michigan law states:

752.891 Use or possession of BB handgun by minor.

Sec. 1. No person under 18 years of age shall use or possess any handgun designed and manufactured

exclusively for propelling BB's not exceeding .177 calibre by means of spring, gas or air, outside the cartilage of his domicile unless he is accompanied by a person over 18 years of age.

752.892 Penalty.

Sec. 2. Any person who violates the provisions of this act is guilty of a misdemeanor.

I’m sure everyone knows the old African proverb “It takes a village to raise a child”.  What I’m wondering is, exactly what kind of village do we live in? 

Until next time, live, laugh, love and be sure to teach your children well.  After all, they will be leading our future.

 xoxo

My New Addiction and a Future Jedi

Over the holidays I was introduced to and became obsessed with two new things: Words with Friends and I can’t believe I’m about to say this - Star Wars.  My interest in Words with Friends is fading, mostly because I’m constantly getting my ass kicked my Assman. However, my addiction to Star Wars has steadily increased. 

For quite some time now, Assman has been trying to convince me to watch Star Wars, however, I have always been reluctant.  But, I thought maybe the boys would enjoy it, so one night I rented Episode IV, made some popcorn and sat down with all my boys to watch something I was sure that I was not going to like in the least. Imagine my surprise when I found myself actually enjoying the movie! The next day I returned IV and rented V.  We watched all of them over the holiday break. And now, I must admit, I’m into it as much as the boys are - maybe even a little more!

The little monsters absolutely love Star Wars and I love listening to them explain to their friends and family everything they have learned about the characters. Most of all I’m really excited that they are finally getting into something other than SpongeBob!

Porkchop may tell you his favorite guy is Obi Wan Kenobi (I think he just likes saying his name!), but he walks around the house, slightly hunched over with a fake cane saying “Mmm, Master Yoda I am.” I’m pretty sure he thinks that he is a Jedi and that the mall play area is his Jedi training camp.  He runs around and will spontaneously break into a summersault and then quickly jump on a tree stump, all the while telling me and everyone else around him that those are his Jedi tricks.

Hambone claims his favorite is Luke Skywalker, yet when they have light saber duels (sometimes its hard to tell if they are pretend or real) he seems to like the sith characters. And at the end of the week when it’s time for him to pick his weekly figurine for doing his chores, he usually gravitates towards the storm troopers or other bad guys.

I’m having a hard time picking a favorite.  I like Yoda because he’s little like me.  Don’t think for a minute because he’s old and small that he will be an easy target. If backed into a corner, a force to reckon with he will become! And I love the way he talks. But I also like Chewie, R2-D2, Jar Jar Binks and Padme. I feel for Anakin because his decisions seem to be made out of love, yet they bring him horrible consequences.

Not surprising to me, Assman’s favorite character seems to be Darth Vader (after all, I have been trying to bring him back from the dark side for almost 12 years now!) Which is why it would be far more fitting for me to set the Imperial March ringtone to my phone for when he calls me, instead of the other way around.  Still, I do find it slightly amusing that he has it for me. See honey, I DO have a sense of humor!

The one downside is that since watching the movies, not a day goes by that I don’t hear zzzoooooom (you will have to insert your own light saber sound effect here).  Everything turns into a light saber duel with the adorable monsters.  Saying something to them as simple as “Put your shoes on boys” causes them to jump up, point their light saber of a finger at me and start with the zzzoooom, zzzzoooom. Created some monsters I have done, yes.

Until next time, try something you think you don’t like, because who knows, it may become your next addiction – and don’t forget to live, laugh, love!

xoxo

A Heck of a Valentine

A few months ago I asked Assman which T.V. family he thought our parenting most resembled.  Out of all the families out there he said the Hecks from The Middle.  I couldn’t believe it.  No way do we resemble that family - I love the show, but they are flat out crazy. Then I watched last weeks show about Valentines Day. And I realized, OMG, he is right!!! We are totally the Hecks and here is just a glimpse of why. 

Last week I made a comment about how I thought it was totally crazy that kids could not get away with just passing out a valentines day card at school without a piece of candy attached to it. (Not wanting my kid to become a social outcast we taped suckers to the cards.)  If you watched the show, then remember the grocery store scene where the mom bumps into her friends and makes that same comment!!

On the show, the Hecks, after a comical discussion, ultimately decide to not waste money on buying cards, and to stay home, order in food and watch TV in separate rooms.  Odd that we had already decided to not buy cards either (instead, we used construction paper and markers!)

However, the Hecks had a change of plans in that they decided to go out to dinner with two other couples. I will probably make dinner, just like every other night, and then go to the PTA meeting. Yes, I know, very romantic.

On the show, at dinner one of the husbands buys his wife a rose from the flower pusher, I mean peddler and the wives are oohing and ahhing. The other husband follows suit and buys one for his wife, oohs and ahhs follow and then the pusher comes to Mr. Heck and he, most likely remembering their earlier conversations about not making a big deal on Valentines day says “Oh, no thank you, we’re good”.  Mrs. Heck looks all disappointed because she was sure he was going to follow suit and buy her one.  And then later she gave him hell for not getting her one. I’m only slightly ashamed to admit it, but I so would have done that too. If we were out by ourselves, I wouldn’t have wanted him to buy one (I mean that’s another beer I could have had instead, right? Don’t get me wrong I LOVE flowers, one of my favorite jobs was working in the flower shop/greenhouse, which by the way I would love to own one day and I LOVE gardening! I just would rather him come home on a random day with a bunch of flowers [which he does sometimes, because he’s good like that!]) However, if we are out with our friends and their husbands have all bought their wives one, and I’m the only one that did not get one, I would be disappointed too. Petty I know.

Throughout the show, the sons are working on a report about a Valentine Day they have experienced. The youngest one, having not yet experiencing a significant one, chose to write about his parents and how even though they are by no means your ideal romantics, he points out all the different ways that he notices how they show their love for one another in little ways throughout the year.  That’s pretty much how we are too, so, I will finally admit it, we are the Hecks. 

Fat chance in me ever getting a surprise Valentine serenade by Assman while I’m hosting my own TV show like Sherri’s husband did today on the View? (I feel the need to point out that one: I do not normally like the View, mostly because these ladies just talk over one another about nothing and I can’t make out anything that they are saying and two: I leave the TV on for background noise and it just happened to be on as I was walking by while busting my butt cleaning, because I’m retired and that’s apparently what retired people do J!) And that’s perfectly fine with me, because instead, I woke up to lots of Valentine pecks from my Porkchop, who after everyone got out of bed told me, “Don’t worry Mommy, I will stay here in bed and cuddle with you for a little more.” And I will receive two of the sweetest homemade cards from both little adorable monsters. And I will get a romantic pat on the butt and a sweet kiss from Assman. And then right on cue, everyone will forget it’s Valentines Day and jump into the normal everyday routine. I’ll stop right here and spare you the horrific details of how the next 30 minutes went. I’ll just let you know it consisted of Porkchop screaming and yelling all the way to school just because it was time to put his boots and coat on. Why should Valentines Day be different than any other day? 

Until next time, I hope you have a Happy Valentines Day and don’t forget to live, laugh and love with your someone or something special!

xoxo

Holidaze (Part II)

This year our adorable monsters were really into Christmas and I’m not talking about just the gift receiving part.  More importantly, they understood the true meaning of it - the celebration of Jesus’ Birthday.  In fact, Porkchop wanted to buy a birthday balloon for Jesus and send it up to Heaven on Christmas day (I’m such a bad mommy because I completely forgot to do it!).  Experiencing the excitement and belief in Santa and Sonny-Jingles (our elf on the shelf – they couldn’t decide between Sonny and Jingles, so we combined them) with them was so much fun!  And, I must admit it was fun using Santa and Sonny-Jingles as bribery tools. Threats similar to “Sonny-Jingles is going to report that back to Santa and you are going to get coal in your stocking!” were yelled out a lot in our house last month.

The daze continues on with the gang’s long standing Christmas dinner and gift exchange. This is an adult’s only evening where we enjoy a dinner at a nice restaurant, go back to someone’s house (whoever volunteered to host) continue to drink and exchange gifts.  In the beginning, when we were all still living at home, we would exchange names and buy a gift.  Then we started having weddings, mortgages, kids, etc. One year when we were all feeling the true meaning of Christmas, we agreed  to buy gifts for a needy family (I’m pretty sure that patches [f/k/a portabella] was not 100% on board with this idea) and do a white elephant gift exchange instead. That lasted for a couple years. Now we just do the white elephant exchange, which I believe makes for the best part of the night! Ours is done a little differently. We are not allowed to buy anything. You must find useless pieces of crap around your house, wrap them up and put them in a box or bag. There is no item amount – find as many pieces as you want (we have a special box that we throw stuff into all year long).  When we get to the house, everyone’s wrapped up crap is placed in a pile on the floor. One by one, youngest to oldest picks a bag of crap. Then one by one, starting with the oldest, we start to open our crap. There is a garbage bag nearby for the especially crappy gifts (like the broken dust-buster from the 1980’s)  Some other pieces of crap were a missing piece to a kids toy, a chuckie cheese coin, a used diaper genie and a butt bank that farts when you put money it.  I’m not kidding when I tell you a few of us moms who don’t do our keegals have or have nearly peed our pants during the exchange!

Then comes Christmas Eve. I’m not sure if I mentioned it before, but I’m a product of a broken family. Before my parents divorced and when my grandparents were alive and living in Michigan, there was a long standing tradition of celebrating Christmas Eve with my dad’s side.  That made the decision of what to do about Christmas easy -   Christmas Eve with Dad and Christmas with Mom. Dad lives in the house he grew up in and it’s not much bigger than Itty Bitty. So when we all get together, dinners over there can be a little chaotic with four little boys under the age of 6 running around. At times, I welcome chaos because it definitely makes for an interesting night. Drinks and food are enjoyed and then we all get spoiled with gifts.

At last, it’s the big day, the day we have all been waiting for – Christmas morning. This year was so different than last year. The boys didn’t wake us up at 5:30 – they actually slept in until 8:00 (I know, pathetic isn’t it that sleeping in is 8:00 in our house) They waited patiently (at least as patiently as they could) while the coffee brewed and we set up the video camera (I’m not a huge fan of the video camera in the morning and try to stay out of it as much as possible!) And as wide eyed and excited as they were, they didn’t just rip the paper off, stare at it for a millisecond, and quickly move on to the next one. This year they were genuinely very excited about their gift and kept repeating “this is exactly what I wanted!”

Everyone was happy with what they received and we were off to a good start. In the past, this about the time we need to start scrambling and getting ready to enter the stressfulness of having to travel all over. However, this year we decided to start a new tradition. After six years of packing kids up 2-3 times during the day we decided to have Christmas at Itty Bitty. Over the last couple years, some of the extended family started having Christmas with just their immediate family. Realizing they were on to something, Assman and I decided to give it a try.  We invited everyone to come for dinner, including extended members.  In the end, Assman’s mom came for brunch and my immediate family came for a homemade (I’m talking from scratch!) Armenian feast. There was hommos, Lahmajoon (Armenian pizza), grape leaves, sou- beoreg, pilaf, fatoush and shish kafta. And just in case someone craved some American food – there was a ham. Everything turned out delicious!

On the morning of December 26^th, I woke up and glanced around Itty Bitty (this literally involves standing in the hallway and spinning around).  I stared in awe at all the toys scattered around (some of which were already broken by porkchop - within seconds of being opened – no joke!) And do you know what I did?  I just left it there, because I was on vacation.

Until next time – I hope you lived, laughed and loved with your friends and family during Christmas as much as we did! xoxo

Holidaze (Part I)

Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years. Some spent months preparing. Others spent days. They came.  Then with a blink of an eye, they went.  Just like that. All the planning and excitement is over, leaving most of us in a complete daze. 

For me, holidays are all about spending time with family and friends. Enjoying your loved ones company and eating so much good food that you are nearly comatose by the end of the year! And believe you me (what does that mean exactly?); I made the most of all that and then some!  This holiday season, old traditions were followed and new ones were started in our family. 

My daze began in mid November (Assman, Husband #2, & Sister Chili Pepper may tell you my “daze” is pretty much always present, but don’t listen to them, it’s all just an act I put onJ)  with Thanksfriends. Over the last six years our "gang" has grown to include 10 babies (wow, just typing that sounds crazy to me!) A few years back, right around Thanksgiving, I realized that we hardly ever have family get together, so I decided to host a Thanksfriends (although, I’m pretty sure Dan came up with the cute name) dinner. I supply the turkey and a side or two and everyone brings another dish or two. This makes for quite the delicious spread! I was a little nervous this year about Itty Bitty and whether everyone would fit, or even if everyone wanted to try and fit, but I'm happy to report that in the end it all worked out. We were a little crammed and pretty much used all 900 sq ft. of Itty Bitty at one point or another, but I loved having the entire kit and caboodle (minus one) together for no other reason than to eat, drink and be thankful for one another. Good food and good friends - just like the good old days. Well, not completely like the old days, because now there are a bunch of kids either, running around, crying, attached to a hip, or sucking on a boob. And I was thankful for every minute of it.

Next, was the official Thanksgiving. The boys were so excited that their Zia and Uncle John were coming in. Hambone does not like to share Zia with anyone.  In fact, if he could, I’m certain he would spend every waking moment with her while she is in town. And Poor Uncle John, Porkchop has grown very fond of him. So much so he feels the need to attempt to become a permanent fixture on his leg. I’m not sure how other families work it out, but after we had kids, we found it hard to travel across the state (at least it felt like it sometimes!) to visit both sides of the family. So we initiated a plan: one side for Easter and the other side for Thanksgiving and then alternate the next year. This year was Thanksgiving on Assman’s side, at Aunt Judy and Uncle Ray’s. I love seeing everyone, but I have to admit, one of my most favorite things about going there on holidays is Aunt Judy’s homemade Italian cooking (and I’m not just sucking up, I don’t have too, because I already think she likes me better than Assman – j/k-maybe?) The only bad thing about going there is I always leave telling Assman I wish we lived out in the country.  One day he tells me, one day we will have our dream house in the country (I’m holding him to that too!!!)

Originally, there was much more to this post. But, as I started writing I realized that because I suffer from CRS, I should have been writing and posting after each holiday event. I'm certain that I am leaving out lots of funny moments. Like on Thanksfriends when Assman gave Portabella a new code name, which I can not recall for the life of me right now, but I do know that it’s funny. Or at the end of that night when Assman started talking in pretend Chinese (at least I think it was Chinese?) and we were all laughing hysterically, but I can’t remember why he was talking like that? Friends, if you are reading this, a little help filling in the blanks please?

Tomorrow I will try and recall Christmas :)

Until next time, may you live, laugh and love much this new year! xoxo